Intimacy beyond “penetration”
Think “normal” sex must include penetration? It’s time to broaden your horizons! Penetrative sex is exciting, but there are so many ways to share pleasure. Mutual masturbation—the self-pleasure you and your partner engage in together—is a fun, intimate, and satisfying experience. Not only is it a great supplement to foreplay, it can be a complete, mind-blowing sex session in its own right.
What is mutual masturbation?
The core of mutual masturbation is that both partners engage in self-stimulation at the same time, usually to achieve orgasm or enjoy sexual pleasure. This activity can take many forms:
– Visual interaction: watching each other masturbate.
– Verbal communication: sharing feelings, desires or making advances.
– Mild physical contact: kissing, caressing or touching other parts of the other person’s body (mainly non-genital) while masturbating.
– Use sex toys: Use vibrators, clitoral stimulators (such as sucking toys), condoms, etc. individually or together to enhance the experience.
– KEY POINT: It doesn’t require direct genital contact, which makes it a lower-risk way to have sex.
What’s the appeal of mutual masturbation?
Studies (like this one from 2023) show that up to 95% of participants report feeling “happy” and “satisfied” after masturbating with each other, and some even experience higher levels of sexual satisfaction than masturbating alone. Its unique advantages include:
– Visual Feast and Intimacy: Watching your partner explore their body and achieve pleasure is an extremely sexy and intimate experience.
– Lower health risks: If the genitals are not in direct contact with body fluids, the risk of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be effectively reduced.
– Pathways to Orgasm Equality: For many people (especially those with vulvas), orgasm is easier to achieve through masturbation (especially stimulation of the clitoris). Mutual masturbation ensures that both partners can focus on their pleasure spots.
– Possibility of simultaneous orgasms: Easier to control rhythm, communicate status, increase chances of reaching simultaneous orgasms.
– Classes for learning and communication: This is a great way to learn about your partner’s preferences, explore new techniques, and improve sexual communication and intimacy.
– Stress reduction and connection: Shared pleasurable experiences are a natural way to relieve stress and deepen emotional connections.
6 Inspiring Mutual Masturbation Positions
Ready to give it a try? Here are six postures to ignite your desire to explore:
Intimate kneeling position:
– How to do it: Sit with both sides kneeling opposite each other (or choose a comfortable squatting position). Touch each other’s arms, thighs, torso gently. You can tease yourself, or you can reach out and caress your partner (non-genital area). Maintain eye contact or kiss.
– Upgraded gameplay: use toys such as clitoral suckers. While one partner is using a toy, the other partner can admire, kiss, or use their own toy. Don’t forget to verbalize your appreciation: “You look so sexy!”
Standing and appreciating each other:
– How to do it: Lie on your back with your legs bent and open. The other person stands near his head, leans forward, and can kiss or caress the lying person’s abdomen or inner thighs. While lying down, focus on masturbating with your hands or toys.
– Charming point: unique perspective brings freshness. You can masturbate with one hand while standing, and you can kiss your partner’s inner thighs while lying down. It’s also easy to transition naturally to oral sex.
Dominance and submission (light bondage)
– How to do it (beginner version): The “surrender” kneels on the bed/floor. The “leader” puts a collar (or symbolic restraint) on him and kneels beside him holding the leash. With a safe word and clear boundaries, the Dominant can give instructions (how to be touched, how to masturbate).
– Core: Explore power games and fantasy to add spice.
– Key: Both parties are completely voluntary, continue to communicate, and set safe words.
Sitting and staring:
– How to do it: Sit on opposite ends of the sofa facing each other, keeping some distance to avoid direct contact (unless you want to hold hands). When you start masturbating, maintain strong eye contact.
– Charm point: Focus on observing the other person’s reaction – every touch, expression, sound. Get a deeper understanding of your partner’s sexual response. Use a toy like a rabbit vibrator (combined G-spot/clitoral stimulation) for even more visual impact.
The teasing that comes and goes:
– How to do it: One person lies on their back. Another person was straddling one of his legs. The supine sleeper lifts the other leg and puts it lightly on the shoulder of the partner above him (or bend the knees and step on the bed). Adjust the position so that your genitals are very close but not touching.
– Charm point: Appreciate your partner’s expression from a VIP perspective. Use lubricant and engage in seductive friction (not penetration). Ideal for couples who are not ready for penetration or who enjoy borderline sex. Make sure the partner underneath is comfortable (supported by pillows).
Controlling games for remote control toys:
– How to do it: With one partner sitting comfortably (e.g. butterfly seat), masturbate using a toy that can be controlled remotely (e.g. remote vibrator/egg). The other party holds the remote control (can be in the same room or in another place) to control the intensity and mode of the toy.
– Charm point: the thrill of handing over/gaining control. The excitement of the unknown brings strong expectations. Perfect for long distance relationships or exploring power dynamics. The controlling partner also derives satisfaction from giving pleasure.
Key recommendations:
– Communication first: Speak freely about your preferences, boundaries and feelings before and during the try.
– Lubricant is your friend: Whether with your hands or toys, a high-quality lubricant can greatly increase comfort and pleasure.
– Safety first: Discuss STI protection measures (e.g., testing, condoms) if there is a risk of bodily fluid contact (e.g., hands touching genitals and then another person).
– Relaxation and fun: no need to strive for perfection. The focus is on the process of exploring, enjoying intimacy and pleasure together.
– Respect boundaries: “No” means “no”. You can stop at any time.
Mutual masturbation is not a “last resort” option, but a creative, intimate, safe, and immensely satisfying way to have sex. It encourages communication, exploration of each other’s bodies and desires, and can significantly increase sexual satisfaction and emotional connection between partners. You may wish to try the above positions to find the method that suits you best and start a new intimate experience.